Part 55: Swift and Final Retribution
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We re-join Frey in his room, still officially off the clock. As soon as we go up to the war room, that's going to change and we'll be given our next mission, but as usual, we have optional recruits to pick up before we do that.
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Besides me and the Elder, I doubt any other beavers will use it. I hope Your Highness won't mind... It's just that there aren't many other beavers that can write human letters.
And letters.
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Maps from a hundred years ago clearly show that Stormfist and the Hershville Naval Base were Aethelbald domains.
That's interesting. (No, not really.) I think it's the first we hear of Hershville, but we won't be going there for a while.
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The "Boss" my father saw was Genoh? What an odd turn of fate.
He's not a very good boss. We didn't get to fight him or anything.
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Get a load of that letter she wrote! "My Prints"? "Strong liek yoo"? Did she even get her name right? Some people should just never ever pick up a pen.
...are you reading my mail?
No, scratch that, why are you reading my mail?
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Your Highness seems reluctant to conduct trade, though it would be by far the best way to raise funds for the war. It may sound troublesome, even overwhelming, but it's really not all that difficult -- not with experience. I assure you, I have only the best of intentions. Why don't you give it a try?
I think this is spam.
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He is indeed the one we captured, but we didn't know his story at the time. Your Highness has welcomed him into our army, and we certainly respect this decision.
"We think it's retarded, but we respect it."
That's all for the letters, but we still have things to read. After Rainwall falls, Taylor has a new issue of the Dawn Times ready for us.
The Dawn Times - Issue 5 posted:
Front Page - Rainwall Falls into Enemy Hands posted:
Around the same time Beaver Lodge was attacked, the Godwin Army stormed into Rainwall and gained control with little resistance. But the townsfolk had little sympathy for Lord Barows, now knowing that he had secretly conspired with Armes to divide out beloved Falena. Some even say he deserved this defeat.
Back Page - Lyon Snaps at "Bandit Prince" posted:
"The Dawn Times has learned that, upon capture of the "Bandit Prince," the Prince's bodyguard, Lyon -- known for her mild disposition -- openly unleashed her fury on Roy, the one who had been impersonating His Highness. Lyon apparently urged him in no uncertain terms to repent for his actions.
Rumor has it that this "talk" with Lyon is what persuaded Roy to give up his bandit ways. Allegedly, Lyon was sent over the edge after Roy persisted in addressing her as "sweetie" and calling His Royal Highness a "coward."
"The Dawn Times" attempted to reach both parties for interviews, but was rebuffed in both cases. "Please, don't ask me about that! I'm so embarrassed," Lyon said. Roy was less cordial, simply snorting and walking away, muttering what sounded like, "Crazy-ass reporter!" under his breath.
Serials - Portraits of the Enemy: Salum Barows posted:
This time, we examine the actions of Salum Barows, the unscrupulous head of the Barows family. When Rainwall collapsed, Lord Barows was forced to surrender to the Godwins, his long-standing enemies. The public, however, tired of his constant selfish maneuvering, has shown no sympathy.
After all, it was Lord Barows who pushed for Princess Falzrahm to ascend to the throne despite her being only second in line to the title, igniting the Falzrahm-Sharhrewar conflict. And it was Lord Barows who pushed dam construction forward, which planted the seeds for the Lordlake uprising.
Lord Barows even stole the Dawn Rune and allied with the New Armes Kingdom. Lord Barows' intentions were decent, as his goal was to maintain peace by preventing the rise of the hard-line Godwin faction. But he is a man who would sell Falena out to accomplish that goal, a true blight on our nation.
Can't say I feel much sympathy for Salum.
Or Roy.
Sadly though, Lyon has no reaction to reading about it.
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Now for the meat of the update.
Or the tofu if you're into that sort of thing.
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We don't have much reason to go to Estrise right now, but we'll do so anyway.
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And then we'll get jumped by muggers.
Vulgar Man: Yep, no money like easy money! Bwahaha!
Vicious Man: Hee hee! We're gonna get paid a whole heap of cash for bashing your skull in, kid!
Curiously specific muggers.
Frivolous Man: You've got yourself a rich and powerful enemy! Might as well let us crush your skull now, or there'll be worse to come!
...goddammit Euram.
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But suddenly!
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The allies of justice appear!
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Who're you calling "mere"?
Frivolous Man: Whaaaat?!
Vulgar Man: Whoa!!! Hey, lovely, I like the outfit!
Vicious Man: Yeah, nice legs! Woo-wee!!!
Vulgar Man: She's askin' fer it! Oh, the lovely's askin' fer it!
Vicious Man: Forget the kid! Let's play with this broad!!!
Am I the only one who gets the feeling Euram hired redditors to kill me...?
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Vulgar Man: Butt out, tin can! This game is crowded enough with three guys! Heh heh heh!
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Frivolous Man: Huh?
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Vulgar Man: Hey... I think she's trying to insult us or something...
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Vulgar Man: Oooh! The lovely likes it rough!
Vicious Man: Hee hee! Just the way I like it! And this time I get it for free!
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Vulgar Man: Gah... This lovely can really fight... How embarrassing.
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Vulgar Man: Eek!!!
Thug: Somebody save me!
(I don't know why he's called "thug" here.)
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I don't know about where you come from, but in Falena we frown on killstealing.
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Well since you're asking so nicely.
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As followers of the code of the Maximillian Knights, we have much work to do. We'll start off by dealing with that reprehensible fiend of a prince who rebelled against his own little sister!
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...
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Once that's done, we can head over to Babbage's shop and find it... slightly messier than the last time we saw it. Still can't recruit the man, though.
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Then, it's back to the castle.
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Now I'm really curious!
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Fortunately Boz is here to spill the beans whether she likes it or not.
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Can't think of a better place for him to hide! No one in their right mind would go there willingly, and even if they did, he'd be pretty well camouflaged.
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I think the moment Euram started talking about "having intelligence" my bullshit-o-meter exploded in my pocket.
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And now I have little shards of glass, metal and plastic embedded in my hip and it kinda hurts.
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"Don't listen to Euram's lies! Basch lives!"
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Our next order of business, naturally, is to walk straight into Euram's trap and then walk all over him.
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No, no, you don't understand how these things work.
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I'm not sure how many people you can bring, but I'm not bringing anyone. Lyon should be plenty.
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It's because of what he did in Sable that I need to make sure his plan fails in the most amusing manner possible! Come on, you don't actually think he's a threat, do you?
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Have a little faith!
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...hello there.
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I think those two are a bad influence on him.
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Hey, hey, since when am I horrifically evil? That's going a bit far.
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Let's go, child!
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Don't have to tell me twice!
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Euram's lackies are, shall we say, lacking.
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Argh!!!
And he runs away again.
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I wanted to see what you'd do to him, to get a measure of your character... But I guess I kind of jumped in there. I'm sorry. I saw evil afoot, and I just couldn't help myself.
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You don't say!
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This... This has been a good day.
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During my days as a merchant, I conducted business with Beaver Lodge. Back then, Fuwalafuwalu's father was leader. What a fond memory.
That about wraps up the optional stuff for this time. There's new mail, though.
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Thanks for your patronage at Mohsen Number Zero Armor Shop! We've given he customers what they want! Loads of new items in stock! Come on down to our store and see what we have to offer! Bring a friend!
Looks like they've figured out how to get around the spam filter.
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This may be presumptuous of me, but I feel our army has some discipline problems. We need to be more strict!
When was the last time you contributed anything of value...?
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Then, it's time to get our next assignment.
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I think I'm the goddamn Tenkai Star!
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The word "impossible" is only in my vocabulary so I can apply it to things done by other people!
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It's been like 50 updates since then, but I mentioned back in the beginning how Ferid's full name was Ferid Egan. The relation is not clear at this point, but we can be fairly certain there is one.
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Alrighty, then!
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Well it is close to the Island Nations so I wouldn't get too excited. I hear they have some issues.
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Do I look like a tree to you?
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I was just there! And here I thought you were omniscient and all.
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That's how it usually works, you know.
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Hey, I've been on boats before!
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I'm also handing over a new window set but argh my eyes. I'll stick with the blue.
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You're not going.
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Why does everyone seem to know this guy...?
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And, yes, I know. I've been bad about speaking with Egbert. I've just kind of assumed he'd just ask to play games again.
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I have been wrong, and I'm terribly sorry.
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Just one last thing before we head out. Remember how some of Roy's bandits dropped paintings? I've been getting them appraised. This is "The Sacred Games - A painting of a gladiator in combat."
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And this is "The Smile - A vivid painting of a smiling face."
I think I'll be keeping this.
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I will exact swift and final retribution on this artwork and deposit its loathsome corpse into the bottom of the appropriate post.
Next up: the Goddamn Ocean.